Endless Echoes
by Chaotic Serenity
Summary: Sequel to "There Are Echoes." After leaving the book, Yui reflects.


_Author's Notes:_ The sequel to _There Are Echoes_, since I felt one had to be written, so you may want to go back and read that in order to understand this one. ~_~ Some time after leaving the book, Yui reflects on Nakago and what passed between them that day in the palace halls.

**Warnings:** Adult themes.

**Spoilers:** Entire series.

Obligatory Disclaimer: I own no part of Fushigi Yuugi or any of its characters.

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Endless Echoes

  
The stars shine like diamonds in the grand celestial treasure of the skies, illuminating the earth as night's blanket flows over me. The moon is at its stage of birth, dark and invisible against the universe, causing the night to seem even dimmer than usual.   
It's on nights like these, when the moon is gone and I am left only with the stars to comfort me that I turn me eyes to the vast heavens above and pinpoint with my right index finger the constellation of Tamahome burning brightly in the South. So steadily does it rage in all its fiery beauty. So strong and lovely and everlasting. Just like the man who once bore the name who lives now as my friend's lover, a reincarnation of all the wonder and joy that was Tamahome.   
And then I move my hand to the East, to where you burn not so steadily, a wavering candle in the terrible hollowness of night. Not that it surprises me. You were never quite as bright or warm as Suzaku's stars were. I always knew how cold you were Nakago; I knew you weren't as strong as you saw yourself to be.   
These fourteen stars shine down on me, Yui Hongo, the former priestess of Seiryuu, with a strange and unearthly malevolent fury, as if I have no right to judge them in all of their weakness when I too am no different. Perhaps they are right; perhaps I am simply one more lost sinner among their herd. So much pain I caused while I had your power at my fingertips, so much devastation. I'm unsure if I'll ever be able to rectify the transgressions I've made.   
But those are thoughts for another night, and I lean back into the cool grass, head pillowed on my outstretched arms, thinking of the past, of things past, of things that may have been.   
What did you want from me that night in the shadows, your hand clutching mind so desperately as memories rushed and roared around us in cruel echoes? What was it you desired as you gazed into my eyes?   
I knew you weren't as strong as you saw yourself to be. It wasn't until after Miaka rescued me from Seiryuu's power, when I was stricken with sickness and bedridden for a week, that I realized how weak you had been in that moment, gazing at me with a beggar's eyes. What was the wish you truly wanted to hear pass through my lips? Certainly not to be a god. No, not that. You were no different from I. Why would one wish for godhood when you simply desired to be loved, to be protected like I?   
Oh Nakago, how helpless I felt after Miaka shattered the mirror of trust we held between us. No longer could I rely on your words to secure me, no longer would your arms hold me.   
I saw you through Seiryuu's sorrowful eyes as you fell beneath Tamahome's hand. And you have no idea how helpless the two of us felt watching you die, because we couldn't return the favor you had given us so many times. We couldn't suffer as you had for the one thing you wanted most. Seiryuu loved you, even in your desire for immortality, and he loved me, even as he consumed my soul. In the end, he was no different from you or I.   
What happened in that hall so many endless days ago was a reflection of that suffering. I saw through you, I saw that little boy all in his suffering over again. And did you hate me for it? Were you loathe to the knowledge that I heard those echoes a clearly as you did? Because I knew what suffering was, because I knew what it felt like to have all your dreams and everything you loved ripped away from you?   
What did you see when you looked my eyes, Nakago? A lost girl? A hopeful young woman? Your ticket to freedom?   
I wonder, sometimes, what we could have been to one another if we hadn't met in that horrid book, or if we hadn't suffered as we did. Could you have loved me, with all my faults, and could I have loved you, with all of yours? Or am I dreaming again, considering a reality that never should be?   
I wonder, sometimes, why I bother.   
But you...you felt it too, didn't you? In that hall, the echoes roaring around us as we pressed closer. I wonder, had we embraced in that moment, would our destiny have been the same?   
Foolish dreams for a foolish girl. What could you, a lost little boy, have known of love when you always rejected it?   
Not that matters. I'll always wonder, even after I've lost my clearest memories of you, what could have been. Could you love me? Do you love me?   
Because these memories are endless you see, and so are the echoes. They follow us forever, you see, always haunting in the dark corners of our souls.   
Could you love me? Did you love?   
Endless you see, always echoing...   
Always... 

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**Final Notes From the Author:**   
  
Not too much to say on this one since I think my feelings on that were explained awhile back in this story's predecessor; although, I'm worried about whether or not Yui's in character here. It's a bit of a stretch, I think, but I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you did too.   
I realize that the ending may seem to end without resolution...but it's supposed to seem that way, because Yui never really will have resolution to that question. Did Nakago love her? Could he have loved her? Not a question she can answer herself.   
Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it. ^_^ Thank you for reading!   
  
-Chaotic Serenity 


End file.
